I cannot explain myself now that I only have two Mondays left staying in Nagoya. My mind has not been made up to go back home since this has been an abrupt change of plans. Yes of course I am excited to see my old friends and families who never failed to miss me. But Nagoya had become my home for more than a year: I already made some friends and family members.
While I pack my things for shipping, my only Filipina buddy naturally felt sad about it. Another one buddy will leave her. But I know she is strong and surely her emotional downturns will soon be gone. I will not be able to see for the meantime my new friend and chatmate in Tokyo who I found so funny. Our difference in personalities and status intrigued me. And my friend in school will definitely miss my calls. On a lonely planet such as Japan, we relived, shared, and just chat for hours the memories, everyday experiences of a gaijin (foreigner), and the emotional struggles we face being away from our families.
I have a busy schedule for my last two weeks: finishing my JG Level in Nihongo on Tuesday, washing the carpet and a general cleaning of my apartment, cleaning my desk and deleting my files in the computer and saying goodbye to friends. Though no work is assigned to me for the past weeks and it made me a non-performing slave worker, my free time is bombared with Sayounara Party of friends who had made my stay of worthy accord somehow.
This journey had been a journey to my inner self. Being a melancholic as I am, I enjoyed being alone and at the same time hated it. I faced the demons in my mind and was able to silenced it. I honed my skills in writing. And I was able to identify my weaknesses and strengths.
At the end of my self-exodus, what matters to me now is how to live a life in the eyes of my Creator: I gave up this so I could live with my purpose.
It will never be a sayounara for the friends I made in Nagoya. Maybe someday, God will bring me back to this place. But I will also make it sure, it will be for the best of my new family.
