Everyday is a learned experience for me and my husband. For our two years stay in Tokyo alone together, I think I have known him more. Likewise, he must also have learned something from me, my spur of the moment topak and tantrums. There are some things that we usually do not talk about, especially when those were already agreed upon in the past and were already settled.
For all endeavors that I had taken in my life, marriage is the second biggest one I have embraced so far, next to my conversion of faith to Jesus Christ. I draw strengths from Him who is the Source of power. I must admit most of the times I fall head on, bruising and nursing those bumps. I had broken some relationships as well and hurt people on the way. I am stubborn, yes I am. I had crossed some lines, sometimes heading on to some confrontations with I thought were my friends, only to clear up the truth…
I am a wife and by any means I have every right to know which are right and wrong. I am a wife and I have the right to protect my territory: especially in the rise of rumors concerning your relationship. WORDS are powerful, the source of life and death. WORDS are the physical manifestations of what you are thinking, feeling. A word released in a negative intention produces a destructive outcome. In short, rumors passed from ear to ear, lips to lips, kill. It shames you, strips you of your reputation which you have tried to protect, and hurts people. IT KILLS RELATIONSHIPS.
I am very sensitive to this. We had been a victim of malicious rumors for some time. Some very grave that it has affected our way of thinking and even our plans. UNTIL NOW.
That is why when I heard a rumor about our relationship, I immediately traced the source. Maybe some are asking why do I need to do it. It is simple. You do not want a nasty rumor to haunt you when you are sleeping. Worse, I do not think you can sleep well when you are sleeping with an enemy.
I have been balancing my act from day 1, checking from time to time the role of a wife and the need for self-respect. HIS Words tell me that I need to cling on to, cleave with my husband and I am obeying. I am here as a follower of Christ, testimony, and servant. So far, GOD has honored my commitment. He has protected our marriage and my husband has been changed to a better man. And seriously, I do not think he has done something in the present that decreases my self-respect.
From the recent event, I learned to protect our privacy. I was very open with our pasts, his background and mine. I had shared this to some fellow believers which I thought could be of help, on our Christian walk together. I was wrong. Those words came back to me. It had been used against us, and had been an issue of gossip.
I had broken my ties with them. Probably I had hurt them. But they should learn that I am hurting too. Because they were my friends.
So where I am now? My marriage is still intact, happy and blissful. We laugh together on our own mistakes, we learned together. I do sometimes cry, he stops. A simple sorry does the job, and it is a start for us to say, “I will be better.”.
And to all my friends affected by this, we are fine. Very fine. I am sorry too if I had hurt you too.
Let us just learn from it. And I hope it will never be repeated. Not just to me but for anyone who you know.
